Day 37

What I did/what I learned (trust me, it all ties in together):

Talk about getting hit squarely between the eyes with a lesson! As I mentioned yesterday, I'm struggling. I'm going to go out on a limb today and sort of explain why. I know I already wrote that a magazine is going to print a story I sent them about my foster mother (see www.97yearsofblessings.blogspot.com). I was so thrilled, and had actually prayed about it just days before I heard back from them. If I had my choice, I would write all day - fiction, non-fiction, short stories and thoughts along the way.

Well, on Monday, the magazine communicated with me that they want to send a photographer out to do a photo shoot on Monday. I had been thinking previously that they might want to capture a photo of my little girl hugging some of the residents at a nursing home. Nope. They are sending a prominent Boston photographer to shoot photos of me here in my foster parents' home. Well, I'm really struggling with that for some pretty dumb reasons. For one, with my employment situation the way it is, I will not be able to get my hair or nails done, and buying any cute little lipstick (or an industrial sized concealer for the bags under my eyes) is out of the question. I had left nearly all of my belonging's at a friend's home and they suffered water and critter damage, so I am limited to mostly blue jeans and scrubs here in my wardrobe and virtually no jewelry whatsoever. The bottom line of this situation is that, barring some divine intervention, nothing about this will change by Monday and being a woman who can usually dress and carry myself well, I have been pretty stressed out by all of this.

What did I do? I complained to God that the timing couldn't be worse. I had some bills I paid yesterday. I reasoned that at any other time in my life, I would have been able to pull this off. All I could think about was the fact that a LOT of people would be looking at this magazine, and I couldn't put my best foot forward - well, I could, but the foot would be wearing a flip-flop.

Yesterday afternoon I brought my little one to a local bookstore to browse. She and I enjoy cuddling up each night to read and she never complains about me reading the same books over and over again. I saw a rolling cart of children's books with drastically reduced sale prices. I picked out a book with the lowest price and the best story to give to her as a gift. She saw some other more expensive books and began begging for a coloring book. This is unusual for her, but she was definitely having a whiny day. We got to the check-out and I reached in my purse for some change to buy the book. She whined. She drooped. She shoved the book into my hand to pay for. At that moment I knew if I bought her that book, she wouldn't learn the lesson of being thankful. I put the book away, held her hand and walked out to the car. Now she was begging for that book!

On the drive home, I explained to her that I was happy when I picked out that book to give to her as a gift. When she misbehaved, I decided I didn't want to give her that gift anymore because I felt pretty awful that she wasn't thankful for it. As I always said to my older kids (like a broken record), "I don't reward bad behavior".

Guess where that conversation brought my heart? Right! I had asked God to allow me to have my story printed. He swiftly answered and I was so thankful! Then, in the process, this photo shoot came along to go with the story, and I balked. God is in the process of giving me the gift of having my story about my foster mom read by many, many people! Should my thanks to Him now be qualified by how I'm going to look on the pages? Going a step further, it may be that many people might even be able to relate to how I look - just regular old me living my regular old life!

I'm still praying for some sort of intervention before Monday. What red-blooded female wouldn't want to look her best for a photo? I poured my heart out to my friend, Kathy, and she has some ideas. Thank God for girlfriends!

What I learned yesterday is that we really can be thankful in all things. ALL things. God is faithful and He knows what He's doing. I am now confident that this photo shoot will portray exactly what God wants people to see, and I couldn't ask for, or even imagine anything better than that!

Until Tomorrow~~~Elizabeth