Day 36

What I did:

I did a lot of soul searching yesterday for a few reasons. I got another letter from another company stating, "We've chosen another candidate". While I understand that it sometimes takes time to get the best God has for me, the uncertainty can kind of eat me up inside.

I spent a little time in the morning with Shelli and the baby, but we didn't let the day get completely away from us, which is unusual for us :0) I had to put my foot down and let her know that I realy did have to get home to work on some things here. Shelli also had some things to get done, so all in all, it was a pretty good, productive day.

My eating was healthy and also well rounded. While I don't always have the luxury of getting to the grocery store and trying new foods, I have found some consistency in my desire and accomplishment of consciously making healthy choices. Since last Sunday (8 days ago), I have lost seven pounds. I'm comfortable with that, knowing that I'm setting myself up to eat well - not overeat, and not starve to lose weight. Slowing down to make lifestyle changes is what this experiment is about.

I also called my doctor to let him know I'm not comfortable taking the increased medicine he prescribed for me. I was feeling lethargic and had constant headaches. I think it was good for me to just eliminate that from my life. I'm learning to look for the balance between what a medicine is supposed to accomplish and the side effects. For me, the side effects were worse than the pain I was trying to ease. So far, I am feeling much, much better. This has been a pattern for me for the last 13 years - months or weeks of pain and then a sustained amount of time with no pain. I'm going to enjoy each moment of feeling like my old self again!

I also kept an appointment that I had made for my six foot sixteen year old son. He has wanted to try training in a boxing program ever since he saw the sign three doors away. I really want this for him so he can have his own thing. His older sister was a volleyball player. His older brother was a basketball star all the way through school. His little sister has a dance program she participates in. My son really didn't have a way to just enjoy being himself in a sport that was his alone. We watched the class yesterday, and today he participated. Shelli wanted to give him the gift of nine weeks of classes. I'm so thankful I have been able to teach my kids the importance of supporting family members in their endeavors!

What I learned:

As I said, I struggled yesterday. I wrote to Kathy, my accountability partner. I listened to my Christian radio programs. I needed to sit myself down and really review what God has already done for me and my children! That's what the Children of Israel did in the Old Testament when they either had victory in a great difficulty, or when they were about to trust God to do the impossible. I did go to bed with a greater sense of peace, but here I am writing today with my brow furrowed and a pit in the bottom of my stomach. I have been praying and leaning more on God in the past two days which may be part of the reason for these trials. When all is said and done, what draws us closer to God is worth it!

Until Tomorrow~~~Elizabeth