Days 34 and 35

What I did:

Saturday was spent mostly with my daughter and grandson. All of my ideas about getting reorganized after my week of babysitting really went out the window. It was interesting...on Friday, as I was trying to look up verses to share, I was in the back of my Bible searching through the concordance. I can't even remember what word I was researching, but there was a reference listed for it that was completely different from what I was looking for. I checked and rechecked, and realized it was a mistake in the concordance. The verse given to me (that really didn't apply) was Psalm 37:34. More on that when I share what I learned :)

I went grocery shopping with Shelli on Saturday while my son watched the baby and my little one. It was good to be able to help her lug all those bags home and help her put them away. It shows her that I love her and I want to ease her load a little bit.

I was a little frustrated that, as I was helping Shelli, the boys were eating us out of house and home! I understand that they are still in that phase of being toothpick skinny as they take in five thousand calories a day, but we really are on a shoestring budget (if they haven't already eaten the shoestrings!) I heard a radio program this morning highlighting a book entitled "Miserly Mom's", and there were some fantastic ideas! Now if I can only afford the book :)

Saturday, I was supposed to go help a friend move, and was unable to go because of helping out with my grandson, again. I struggled with that, but also realized I did not have the means of another whole tank of gas to get there and back. I do believe things will get better, but I am having to make tough choices as I wait for a change in my financial situation.

I didn't post yesterday (Sunday). I realize that most Sundays are just too hectic and full, between church and my little one's volunteer ministry. We go into local nursing homes and assisted living facilities to sing and hug the residents there. It's a wonderful time, but really keeps us going all day. That's the beauty of this experiment - I have found that I have to be realistic.

What I learned:

I decided not to miss the opportunity to have been given a verse that I wasn't even looking for! I wrote down the verse I stumbled on because of the mistake in the concordance: Psalm 37:34 "Wait on the Lord and keep His way and He shall exalt you to inherit the land. When the wicked are cut off, you shall see it." Ok...so what was that supposed to mean? I had no idea, but I kept going back to the scribbled verse and read it throughout the day.

I also am reading a book at night after my scripture reading entitled "Never Give Up". Wouldn't you know...there was a segment in the book in which the author gave her thoughts about what it means to wait on the Lord. She said that waiting means spending time with God, being in His presence, meditating on His word, worshipping Him and keeping Him at the center of our lives. This will strengthen a believer and carry us through the most difficult times in our lives, because we are drawing all we need from God.

Wow. I have been in a state of waiting on the Lord for a little over three months. I don't know when I will gain the employment hours I so desperately need. I feel like all I can do some days IS wait. I saw that as a horrible and impotent situation to find myself in - like watching the hands on the clock just ticking off more and more unproductive seconds, minutes, hours, days and weeks.

I'm glad I kept going back to that strange verse I found by accident. Something inside told me it would become a comfort to me. Now I realize that waiting on the Lord is not a passive lack of activity. It's an opportunity to be still, to trust, to pursue God spiritually as I wait for His timing and the blessings that come from this season of lying down in green pastures. I'm not waiting for nothing. I'm waiting for the all powerful creator of the universe to move in ways I can't even begin to imagine, and when that time comes, I will be stronger spiritually because I am actively seeking Him!