Day 31

What I did:

I have been doing a lot of soul searching, lately. There are things I am still not consistent with in this experiment. It's as though I'm taking a half-hearted stab at my attempts. I feel like I'm all over the map some days. This is pretty much the feeling that I had when I decided to go into this. So far today (which I will post about tomorrow), I am doing great.

Yesterday I took the kids to school and went to work. When the kids got home, I realized I hadn't given a thought for dinner, but I kind of took a little bit of this and a little of that and made a pretty pathetic meal. I also tried to bake some cookies and for some reason, I didn't cook them long enough. The kids were teasing me, thanking me for the chocolate chip pancakes! I am changing somewhat because I laughed right along with them instead of feeling bad about the mistake. They still ate them.

I had a good day eating, though I didn't begin eating early in the day, so by evening I was starving and after supper, I dove into some of the cookies. Yeah, I've got to get a handle on that and remember to eat five small healthy meals a day. I had originally wanted to eat six meals, but I am going to be more realistic about it and lower that number to five. The biggest reason I believe eating smaller meals more often is because I understand that eating in and of itself raises a person's metabolism for digestion. It's a great way to get that metabolism going, which in turn produces healthy weight loss. I don't have a huge amount to lose - maybe about thirty pounds, but I know I will feel better when I am able to be comfortable in my own skin.

I also went to my doctor and have to have more tests - another brain scan and possibly a spinal tap after that.

What I learned:

Prior to going to the doctor, I told myself that I can deal with anything - as long as I know what it is! When I sat down with neurologist and he told me that the diagnoses for my particular symptoms and MRI results is a gray area and he may never be able to confirm any diagnosis unless the test results are definitive, a real sense of peace came over me. I realized at that moment in time that I can trust God to know what's going on in my body and to care for my needs no matter what. There is a good possibility I may find out for sure. There is also the possibility that I will never know what causes the pain, numbness and muscle problems - and I accepted that on the spot yesterday! I learned that God loves me all over again - I can trust Him. That's all I need to know!

Until Tomorrow~~~Elizabeth