Day 19

What I did:

We had my Gram's burial yesterday, then a family member came over to work here in the office for a while. I ended up picking Shelli up after she dropped off her car, and brought her and the grandbaby back to the house. Before I knew it, the kids were home from school, the Easter shopping hadn't gotten done, and I had to bring Shelli back to pick up her car by five. After that, the night was a blur.

What I learned:

I learned that the things that don't get done are still waiting the next day. Sometimes that's a good thing, and sometimes, not so great. I had a lot to do today as a result of not getting anything done yesterday, but I did accomplish nearly all of it. As I anticipate Easter tomorrow, I feel prepared going into it.

I also learned that we sometimes need to get alone to process the things that "matter" in life. As I watched my Gram's casket lowered into the ground, I had an absurd thought, since she was being placed next to my Grampy, her late husband who died in 1995. All I could think of was that she was going to forever rest on "her side of the bed". After, as I was driving later to pick up Shelli, I just began sobbing in the car, missing my Gram - she was my mother, really - and wondering why I starting crying at such an odd time. I'm not ashamed that I miss her, though my faith tells me I will see her again in heaven someday, I just need to remember that grieving really is a part of life, and it's good to take the time we need to allow ourselves to experience all that this life has to give us - the good and the bad. Though loss feels bad, experiencing and acknowledging the loss is good for the soul. At least that's what I think.

Until Tomorrow~~~Elizabeth