Days 17 and 18

What I did:

Well, the wind is beginning to get blown out of my sails, so to speak. Today, we had the burial for my Gram. Knowing that was coming up was a little difficult. I have held my head above water for the past few days, but the house is beginning to get back to it's state of disarray. I vowed today to spend much of tomorrow getting things the way I want them to be again. I am still in quite a bit of pain at times, and will find out for sure this month whether I have MS. It was all I could do to sit down to write tonight. Things kept going through my head like, "No one even reads any of this, so the only person who will know if you've given up is you". That may be, but I decided when I began this "project" to live and learn all I can in a sixty day period and write about it. Period.

What I learned:

I learned the importance of just simply not giving up. Writing every night about trying to make improvements might be a dumb thing to do, but I set out to do it, and I want to finish what I started. I want to cross that finish line with a sense of accomplishment. Every day life can "suck the life right out of you" and one more thing put on a person's plate can upset the entire balance of the day. I'm learning that constantly. Since I began this experiment, I think I have had two days that went exactly as I had planned. Some of the interruptions I could probably reject, but not many. I learned that I need to do the best I can, each and every time the opportunity presents itself.

I also learned that I am such a horrible procrastinator. I want to work on that (eventually)! I'm not feeling very good about my lack of accomplishment in some areas, and I tend to withdraw when things aren't going the way I want them to. I need to learn to reach out. Not reach out and complain - reach out and live life - whether I feel like it or not. Ninety-nine percent of the time, it's just what the doctor ordered!

Until Tomorrow~~~Elizabeth